Becoming a parent is a life-altering experience, filled with unbridled joy, bouncy-ball love, and a myriad of challenges. Seven months into parenthood and I am feeling a bit frightened. Am I ever going to write again? I doubt I am alone in my concern. Every writer with children EVER has felt this. So, as an exercise in expressing one’s thoughts on the matter, I have turned to you. In this blog post, we'll explore the unique struggles faced by parents who aspire to write while tending to the needs of their little ones. At least from the perspective of my own experience navigating the challenges of writing with a baby.
Sleep Deprivation:
One of the most significant challenges that new parents encounter is the inevitable sleep deprivation that comes with caring for a baby. Babies have erratic sleep patterns, and finding a moment of peace and quiet to sit down and write can seem like an impossible task. Balancing the need for rest with the desire to create can be a delicate dance that requires careful planning and flexibility. The baby eventually falls into sleep schedules – providing brief windows by which to do… everything. Writing typically falls back in the lunch line behind the perpetual appetites of bottle washing and laundry. But despite a “sleep schedule,” you’re inevitably still faced with –
Unpredictable Schedules:
Babies are notorious for their unpredictable schedules. As soon as you think you've established a routine, it changes. it can be disrupted by teething, growth spurts, sickness, or simply a change in the seal pup's mood. This unpredictability can make it challenging to carve out dedicated writing time, leaving many parents feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Available time is haunted by the wolves of Netflix, Instagram, and other mindless distractions. The brain is tired. The body is tired. A writer slips easily into lethargy.
Constant Interruptions:
The nature of parenting means that interruptions are a constant part of the equation. Whether it's a diaper change, feeding time, or simply providing comfort, I often find myself pulled away from even the creative ideas that pop to mind. Learning to embrace the interruptions and finding creative ways to incorporate writing into the gaps of time between baby duties is a skill I have not yet mastered. In fact – my white belt is glaring in the spotlight.
Guilt and Prioritization:
I often grapple with feelings of guilt when choosing to spend time on personal pursuits like writing instead of solely focusing on my child. Striking a balance between self-care and caregiving is essential, and finding ways to communicate the importance of personal fulfillment to family members and partners can help alleviate this guilt. Maybe. Sometimes both partners may want personal time at the same time. The feeling of guilt could spur from squandering precious time alone with one's partner. Work is a different story. I am just getting back into it and realizing I’ll need another post for that bit.
In conclusion, finding time and energy to write is difficult as a new parent. The same could be said for just about any hobby. When choosing the path of parenthood, the tradeoffs are undeniable. Is it worth it? 100%. But it’s difficult. For the reasons above, and more. I am still working through edits on my novel. I am slowing down on my blog posting. But the truth is, as much as I struggle with it, I am finally allowing myself the grace to take pauses. I am allowing myself to admit the complications and lean into the good. Will I ever write like I once did? Will I ever have the time?
Unfortunately the answer to that is, yes. I will. Will I ever get to experience my daughter as an infant again? No. The sacrifices sting. The distractions are laborious. But writing is not my priority right now. It shouldn’t be, and I won’t let it be. Can I marry the two? I have confidence I can try. Distractions be damned – parenting is an undeniably rich source of material!
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